Five Moments that Changed Everything
Yesterday I posted a query asking people to consider the Five Moments that Changed the Trajectory of your Life. Some of responses were standard, for me it was birth of my daughters, the death of my mother and some non-standard - my first Reiki Attunement, my first activation and the day I met Valerie Revering.
The Five Moments are not just ripples on the pond; they are a stone that skips across the pond creating new and ever widening circles. When I began looking at the interconnectedness of the events over the last 22 years, there was Valerie at the center.
This is interconnectedness, the kind I have spent my entire life witnessing in others but are only now allowing myself to witness in my own story. I am not seeking to imbue her with an other worldly greatness, although it is there. Our story began the day after John and I moved to Phoenix. I was standing in my mother in laws office, and she said we couldn’t leave as she was waiting on Val to arrive to pick up a copy of financial software as she handed off the role of Treasurer for their shared investment club. All 5’10” of her arrived and I felt the Universe inhale. Pay Attention. This is what we call in the business a Catalyst Event.
Small talk revealed she was a “massage therapist” and I said with the move, I really needed a massage. Valerie said she was booked two months in advance and as she left and I asked to be added to her cancellation list. I tossed a “see you tomorrow” at her as she left and her reaction was one I had seen often. She was thinking “Coo-coo for Coco Puffs”.
I decided as I was unfamiliar with Phoenix I would drive to her office the next day to get a bearing and my phone rang. It was Val; “I have a cancellation for today, but it’s in 10 minutes”. “No worries I said, I am in your parking lot”. And so, it began.
New to the area, having left my Meditation Groups and Practice behind in Denver, her referrals launched by business in Arizonia. She encouraged me to create a meditation and healing circle and for many years she an Nichelle sponsored the physical space for it to grow. Over the years we have been present for the events of one another’s lives.
When Val’s daughter Jessica was preparing to enter the world, I threw the baby shower. During the party I noticed, standing on the patio there was an etheric fairy princess on the precipice of greatness. I felt the ripples run through my body. Her name was Dr. Nichelle Whitehead and she completed the sisterhood. Most people are not blessed with one best friend, let alone two. Together we are the safe place where truth can live.
We have weathered divorce, death, birth, and every imaginable shift. We have supported one another through all of life’s tragedies and blessings. We don’t take on one another’s pain, we give each other the strength needed to not just survive, but to thrive.
When John was knocking on death’s door in 2015 and I could not find the words to tell our children, Valerie made the calls. When John could not find a path forward in his cancer journey Nichelle took is hand and guided him through.
When death attended Val and Nichelle, I helped to guide them through. We have each gone through a dozen identity shifts over the last 22 years and always maintained a place where truth could be spoken, grief could be held, joy could be shared, identity could shift, death could be witnessed, life could be celebrated and evolution could happen without permission.
I do not share our story to elevate anyone to greatness, as they were already great. When we look back across the widening circles of our lives, it becomes clear that none of us evolve alone. Every stone that touches the surface, every event, every threshold, every loss, every beginning, sends ripples outward that shape who we become. Personally speaking, my journey has been shaped by thousands of “ripplers,” each adding their own distinct spice to the unfolding of my life.
We examine those ripples is not to elevate the people involved. It is to recognize the truth, we are carried forward not by singular moments, but by the quiet, consistent support woven through them. The ripples reveal the truth of how we were supported. They honor the strength that moved through us. They allow us to understand the architecture of our own becoming and propel us into the next chapter with clarity.
Tracing the widening circles of my life, I have come to understand that the moments which shaped me were never isolated events, but ripples carried forward by the quiet strength of those who walked beside me. Examining these ripples is not an act of elevating anyone to greatness, for they were already great; it is an act of recognizing the ways support, truth, and shared resilience have woven themselves through every threshold. In acknowledging how we are held, through friendship, through presence, through the steady hands that guide us when our own falter, we reclaim the architecture of our becoming. These reflections remind us that evolution is never solitary; it is sustained by the people who help us rise, remain, and return to ourselves as the circles continue to widen.
I have learned that not all ripples are born of kindness; some arise from wounding, disruption, or the unexpected stones cast by others. Yet even these moments offer a choice. We can surrender our strength and sink beneath the weight of what harmed us, or we can choose the skipping stones that propel us toward the best version of ourselves. Examining the full landscape of our ripples; both the ones shaped by love and the ones shaped by pain, reveals the quiet architecture of how we are supported, challenged, and ultimately transformed. In honoring every circle, I reclaim the truth that my evolution has never depended on permission, and my becoming has always been guided by the strength I chose to carry forward. Because in the Light, We are All Love.