Mad at God?
How many times have you sent God/Source/The Infinite to it’s room? When life unfolds in a way that we didn’t want. When we didn’t get what we prayed for. Every human does this far more often than we realize. We have done it every time our heart said, “No. That’s not acceptable,” to the way life unfolded.
We are all in relationship with the Infinite, and relationships include moments of slamming the cosmic door and saying, “Go to your room. I’m not talking to you right now.”
The real question - Why does the Divine let life unfold in ways that hurt, confuse, or contradict what I asked for?
When life doesn’t match the picture, we asked for, three things happen. The human experiences the collapse of the timeline our hope held in place. We no longer have the foundation of who we thought we were, who we would become. Our internal narrative shifts to a stance of betrayal. That is the moment we send Source to its room while we have a spiritual tantrum.
Expectations and desires are so powerful yet as fragile as the wings of a butterfly. Expectation is not just a thought, desire is not just a feeling, they are structural elements in the psyche. They are building materials for identity; they are the energetic blueprints for the future-self. A desire is the spark that initiates construction. An expectation is the framework that gives it shape. Together, they form a scaffold of becoming.
When we desire something, we not merely wanting it, we are building a version of ourselves who lives inside that structure. Source cannot exist inside the little boxes we create to contain it. It cannot shrink itself to match the exact shape of our hope. Each time a box collapses beneath the weight of our fear, grief, hope, and tears, it is an invitation in which a larger version of us becomes possible and a larger version of Source becomes visible.
This past week I had expectations for an event and what it would launch. The Universe took hold of the event and ran away with it like a five year old with a ballon screaming in joy and wonder. My spirit knows everything unfolds as it is meant to unfold. As I drifted off to sleep last night I saw, felt, the box I had built to contain my agenda. I felt two things. Absolute Rage at everyone and everything, and a deep desire to let go of that box and all that it contained. It felt like a toxic bomb within my field.
I watched at the scaffolding of the box began to breathe and the whole structure expanded as the architecture became visible and all the words and letters reformed, and the pictures became luminous and expanded beyond my ability to comprehend. When the scaffolding began to breathe it was the moment the construct stopped being held together by my will and began to be animated by Source. A human-built box is rigid while a Source-expanded structure is alive.
My rage wasn’t about the event. It wasn’t about the people. It wasn’t about the Universe. It was about the death of the version of me who lived inside that box.
Source is big enough to contain our rage. Vast enough to expand upon our desires. But its locked in it’s room.
Perhaps we don’t unlock the room by asking Source to come back in the shape we wanted. Perhaps we initiate the feeling “I’m willing to see what this is becoming.”
In invite you to use this daily invocation:
I’m willing to see what this is becoming.
I release the shape I demanded.
I open to the shape that is revealing itself.
Say it when you feel contraction, disappointment, or confusion. Each repetition re‑aligns your field with expansion rather than containment. The result is that we stop negotiating with the Universe and start co‑witnessing its unfolding. The room we thought was locked becomes a cathedral of light again. Because in the Light, We are All Love.